Now That I'm Forty...

Sunday, January 11, 2004

My Mary Tyler Moore Moment
Happened today, finally. I was crossing Park Avenue, east to west. I had just come from the New York Health and Racquet Club after signing up and I couldn't believe how beautiful and metropolitan the 57th St site is. And it occured to me then--"I'm a member of that place. I belong here on 57th Ave!" And then I started west because I had to go to my bank to make a deposit of my paycheck from the 2nd job. I wasn't just sightseeing, is my point.

This hits me when I'm going across Park Ave, looking south at the MetLife Bldg. (right? Old PanAm bldg?). I'm.

FINALLY.

HERE.

Yes, I had a hat on my head, but you know what, it was cold out there so I wasn't throwing it anywhere.

Part Two--
Now coming back on the subway, I found the interesting person for the day.
On the A train, when you go into the express stretch after 59th Street, you know whoever's left on the train is going into Harlem and above. So I'm looking people over and I glom onto a fellow closest to me. We're perpendicular to each other so I decided to study what he was carrying. In his Tower Records bag I could make out a boxed DVD of Sweet Charity.
Okay, this was a black man who appeared older than me. I'm thinking, "What kind of middle-aged black guy buys a Shirley MacLaine movie from the 60's?" Then my mind went south and I thought, "Hey, YOU would watch the movie, why can't he?" And of course I look to his wedding ring finger to find there ain't one. So now my mind, on full sniper-mode, goes, "Dude, you're looking at yourself in the future."
Then, I kid you not. He whips out a comic book from another of his bags and begins reading it. It's a "WOLVERINE".
This man WAS me. In ten years, I'd be riding the subway, buying another CD of a 60's movie, STILL reading comicbooks, STILL unmarried. And maybe because he had a perpetual scowl on his face I thought--"Ohhhhhhhhh, crap. CrAAp."

BUT...I did just join a great healthclub. I've a chance to defeat the Future Hopeless Geek awaiting to claim me.

Me at 1/11/2004 07:08:00 PM

Here of A Sunday Afternoon
Finishing cleaning up my apartment, until I bring up the final junk from the car and let it sit around for days. But I did excavate enough to find my mother's raincoat. I've been saving it since I left here. Sappy and sentimental. That's me. I mean, I got rid of everything that was hers, except her memories--both bad and good, but I thought if ever I needed to crawl off somewhere and wrap myself around some token of a lost childhood, that would be the perfect thing. Anyway, on impulse, I reached into the pockets. In each one was a leather glove that she had stuffed in there. You know, in that instant, I saw her put those gloves in there. I mean, seeing those gloves reminded me that she actually wore the coat and actually put them in there, like any alive person would. It was like she was alive suddenly.

I often miss the woman, about as often as I disliked her. The mind is generous, ain't it? I wanted so much from her, and things were often so bad between us, yet I still get to sweetly miss her and treasure her coat and gloves.

It's as if someone asked me "Will it be good or bad memories today, sir?"
"I'd like a small helping of the good, please, with a light melancholy sauce on the side. Thanks so much."

Listening to WBAI this morning, Mike Feder was chatting with fellow radio hosts about broadcasting and life, etc. He mentioned Lynn Samuels, who used to be there, and is now I dunno where. Maybe WABC on the weekends (soon to be rediscovered by me). Oh, talk about a one-sided love affair. I hope she surfs her name on Google one day and finds this page.

Well, that was appropos to nothing, but since I'm sitting here on a Sunday afternoon, listening to Sting's older collection, I thought I'd blog in.

Yay, I'm becoming the occasional blogger now! That means I'm spending more time out in the world. But I'll be back to tell you more about it later.

Me at 1/11/2004 01:01:00 PM