Now That I'm Forty...


Born in New York and now going to die in New York. Someday.

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Now That I'm Forty...

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Monday, March 29, 2004

It's 2:34 And The Psycho Girl's Puppy Has Been Barking For The Last Hour, Maybe Two.
And it's that high pitched yipping kind of bark that makes you think of scraping fingernails on blackboards. And it's that rapid fire bark, a series of three with a pause between that continues to cycle.

I want to kill the dog.

I really do.

I want it dead.

I want to smash it's brains out with a baseball bat.

Same way you'd stomp a roach.

And then I'd love to bitch-slap it's momma, because she's the one who set the pattern for the damn miserable dog. SHE was screeching tonight as well.

(Which, actually is funny, because I believe I've taught my cat how to be as verbal as it is. Pets learn from us, I believe. !!! Did anyone see that "America's Funniest Videos" ep about the dogs who speak? They are growling and crying, you know, begging for food or the cameraman's attention, and the owner is coaxing the dog by actually saying the phrase, "I Want My Momma"--then the dog's growls and mouth motions, and yawn MAKE the actually sounds, "I Want My Momma" It is the absolutely awesomest thing I've ever seen in my life. There were at least two that said that, and the others said other words.)

Anyway, I can hear Psycho Girl screaming at her "man" on the phone over there. This time she was in the bathroom, and my bathroom window happened to be open already so I just now sat in the dark listening to her go off at him. Apparently he is making time with a "Spanish" girl, and also apparantly, Psycho Girl is a racist.

I kind of feel sorry for her in a way. This guy on her phone doesn't want her, exclusively, and who would? She's demanding that he realize that she's prettier than "the Spanish bitch" but I'm sure she isn't--because I've seen her. ANY Spanish girl would look better than her. And she demanded to let him know that the only reason she quit college after 3 years is because she wanted to sing. I've heard her. She CAN sing. But that's all she's got going for her. She's a screeching, foul-mouthed harpy who has taught her dogs to yap constantly for attention the way she does. The Jerry Springer Show is the only stardom she'll ever see.

Harlem's a strange place to live when you're white and racist.

Me at 3/29/2004 02:34:00 AM