Apparently, I Can Be Bought

My friend, the soon-to-be-doctor, suggested the following; I should lay it all out on the table to Valentine's Day Girl and tell her that I never intend to make her my wife. I should be as diplomatic as I know how, but make it clear. Then see if she gives me the money.

Brilliant!!

Except--I reeaaaallllly want this money.

I could just see me and her on Judge Judy, with her telling Judy, God, and all of America that I was a no-good swindler who came along and took advantage of her emotions. I can see me portrayed as a money-grubbing scrub (like SO many of those defendants on those court shows, when you just shake your head and wonder what that chick was smoking before she gave that OBVIOUS no-account scrub ALL that money). I can hear the announcer summing up my case on the return back from the commercials--"The defendant claims this broke psychologist played mind-games on her to cheat her out of more than three thousand dollars!"

All that is the reason why I think I shouldn't take the money. I also think it will become an obligation. Even though it's a 'gift' it will be something she can hold over my head forevermore. It might be something that, subconsciously, she'll expect me to be more responsive to as a result. That maybe I'll start to call her more often. Maybe go out to dinner with her. Come over to her apartment, if she asks. And then, when I do begin to make money again, will she see me spending money and wonder--"Hhmmph! He SHOULD be spending that on ME."

Now, my paranoia is legendary. All these blog entries will attest to it. But just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean it isn't true, because I actually DO know something about human nature.

YET.

I neeeeeeed this money.

Apparently, I can be bought.

Me at 11/25/2004 11:20:00 AM

---